We’re happy to share the next video in the Strategic Parenting Video Series. This 15 minute video introduces the WIN Map and provides details on Wiring. We talk about Purpose: A sense of purpose - connection to something larger than ourselves – is essential to living a satisfying, meaningful, and rewarding life. Developing and experiencing a sense of purpose has value for us, as parents, as well as for our kids, who are struggling to develop their sense of themselves and the ways in which they can contribute in the world. The WIN Map synthesizes the extensive research on purpose and connection and captures it in a simple, easy to understand, and actionable model. This video will provide you with the information you need to introduce and frame the WIN Map in the conversations you’ll have with your kids. Up next, we’ll cover Interests and then, Needs. Stay tuned, and thanks for joining us.
The parent launch team at Colonial Elementary has generously shared their experiences, progress, and success stories. Here are a few that might prove to be inspirational and useful to you and your family in implementing START. Progress in Transferring Responsibility “I have given my daughter more responsibility and discussed together the why. Snow day the other day and Isla baked cupcakes on her own. This is a task I would have micromanaged but instead saw the value of letting her try on her own! One funny story and this happened right after our last session, I was low on snacks and made her miss the school ice cream social due to our right schedule. After the session I took her to the convenience store (in the last I would have just gone if in a similar situation), gave her 5 bucks and had her shop solo for her and her brother. I sat in the car and watched from the window! She was proud as was I!” Progress in discussing values, transferring responsibility, and being more intentional about screen time. "I think the biggest recent take away from this book and activities is that our family has never discussed what we value as a family and what each of us value individually. Having that discussion one night at dinner was interesting and insightful. At this point, I (as the Mom) have realized that I need to allow my children to do more things they can do on their own, even if it takes longer. In other words, it's "easier and quicker" if I just do it. But I realize now that it was not teaching my kids to be responsible on their own. The biggest obstacle for my oldest son is that he kept "forgetting" to pack materials home and school. We are implementing a check list at home where he packs his own bag. My youngest son started to pack his own lunch because he knows what should be inside and gets to choose his own snack. We have implemented no more screen or TV during the week with limited time on the weekends, where they must do helpful things around the house to earn IPad time. This has made them feel more accomplished in helping the household as well as feeling as if they worked towards a reward they wanted. This also includes less "screen time" for us as parents. I have found that working or leisurely being on our phone has led to irritation from being interrupted by the kids, even if what they are asking is valid. I have voiced this issue to my husband and we have made changes to decrease our own screen time and be more present in whatever we are doing."
We had a lively and engaging video conference on Thursday, February 7 with the Colonial Parent Launch Team. Thanks to all who participated (and to those who emailed) to share your experiences of the START process so far! Your input will help us all reach our collective goal of creating the best possible, school wide experience for the START Launch at Colonial on March 13! For those of you who asked, look for an email with a link to the recording of the session. Here’s a quick recap of the discussion: - The Colonial parent community is experiencing all of the challenges highlighted in the TEDx Video and the START book. There is an increasing level of urgency and stress on the part of parents and students about how best to prepare to succeed in a highly competitive, rapidly changing world. The push for our kids to do all & be all interferes with the ability to be well & do well - Parents recognize the value of leadership approach in addressing these challenges to equip their kids with the tools they need to thrive and prosper, and as a result, are shifting their mindset and beginning to take action to foster leadership. - Key Insights from the Parent Discussion Parents recognize the processes of mapping a path to purpose (WIN) and leadership (START) as universally true and important. Now having the language to articulate them and the processes to take action has value in implementing them at home with family. It’s essential to be intentional about getting our kids to think outside themselves, about the Needs in their community and where they can be of service (WI N Map) When we do things for our kids that they’re capable of doing themselves, we undermine their belief in themselves and rob them of the opportunity to learn the skills they need to take the lead in their own lives. Implementing a simple, Ready-For-Bed checklist to transfer responsibility for the work from parents to kids is proving to be effective Routine (STA R T) Informed and inspired by the evidence that happiness leads to success and not the other way around, a mom shared via email that she and her husband encouraged their high school aged son to take an elective rather than an additional math class this upcoming semester and reported that he’s so happy he’s going to actually be able to enjoy himself this term. - Wrap Up: It’s a long term approach This work is not all or nothing proposition. There’s a lot to do, and you’ll get better and better at it. Any steps you take – including the initial shift to understanding the importance of a leadership perspective – has value. Sometimes, implementing the work with your family starts with you doing the work first - to understand and embody it - so that you can model what you’re teaching to and reinforcing in your kids. The work often requires that you free up some time and space and mind-share by phasing out some of the many activities you have going in your family. Over time, you’ll be more consistent and the approach will be more effective and along every step of the way, you’ll be equipping your kids with the leadership mindset and skill set they need to thrive and prosper. Thanks again for jumping in on the work and for agreeing to provide feedback on the content and process. We look forward to hearing more about your experiences on the next call: February 21 at 7:30 pm. Be well!